Make a decision and stick with it

Last year, I got to coach my daughter’s recreation league basketball team.

I was really looking forward to it. I knew since I hadn’t coached that age level before that my team probably wouldn’t be as talented as many of the other teams, but I thought we’d be competitive.

I was wrong. We lost every game. There were only two games that we had any chance of winning. Most games we got our doors blown off.

By the end of the year, I was totally frustrated. To be honest, I felt like a failure. Looking back, I’ve tried to find lessons that I could learn from the season.

I think I made two big mistakes.

First, I overestimated what the girls could learn. I had in mind several plays and several defenses that I thought they could play.

We practiced our plays, and we practiced our defenses, but when we played our first game we looked lost. It seemed as if we’d never been on a basketball court before.

After a similar performance the next game, I decided we had to scale back on what we were doing. That was my second mistake.

When I tried to get back to more basic basketball, the girls got even more confused. It took me several more games before I realized that the shift had made things worse. By then, it was too late to do much about it. I tried several desperate moves, but nothing worked.

So what’s the lesson? Once you’ve decided on a strategy stick with it until you have to change.

Napoleon Hill analyzed hundreds of successful men for his book, “Think and Grow Rich.” He discovered “that every one of them had the habit of REACHING DECISIONS PROMPTLY, and of changing these decisions SLOWLY, if, and when they were changed.”

Sometimes adjustments are needed when things go wrong, but don’t be too hasty to change directions at the smallest bump in the road.

Steve DeVane

Now is the time

When I was young, I loved to play sports. Basketball was my favorite, but I liked other games, too.

Most of the games I played were pick-up games in the backyard or in the street. One of my friends even painted yard lines on our street so we could play football.

But I also played some organized sports. Some of my favorite memories came from playing church-league basketball and softball games.

One year, my cousin's father, Jack Llull, said that he'd coach our softball team. Now, most of the guys on the team were pretty decent athletes, but I didn't think we were going to be that great.

That year I found out how much difference a coach can make. Mr. Llull knew softball (and I found out later most every sport) like no one I'd ever known.

He'd pay attention to the smallest details. When a player on the other team hit the ball we always had them played perfectly. It seemed like they'd always hit the ball right where we were playing.

When we were at bat, Mr. Llull had a rule. We could never hit until we had a strike and we could never hit if we had three balls and only one strike.

There was only one exception to the rule. We could hit away when Mr. Llull, who always coached third base, would say, "Now's the time."

I loved it when I'd come up to hit and I'd look down at Mr. Llull and he'd say, "Now's the time, Steve."

I'd almost always get a great pitch to hit. I was so excited, I usually knocked the tar out of the ball. I think I hit better that year than ever.

One day I asked Mr. Llull why he only let us hit like that in certain situations. When he explained it, I understood it immediately.

When he was coaching third base, Mr. Llull was studying the pitcher. He first determined whether or not the pitcher could control where he pitched it.

If the pitcher didn't have much control, we had to keep waiting until we got a strike to hit it. We usually walked a lot, which helped us score runs.

But sometimes, the pitcher was pretty good and could pitch strikes and balls whenever he wanted. After a while the pitcher would start figuring out that we were never swinging until we got a strike. So he'd start grooving the first pitch down the middle trying to get ahead in the count.

That was when we'd hear Mr. Llull say, "Now's the time."

I didn't realize it at the time, but Mr. Llull taught me about more than just softball.

First I learned to be observant.

I had played a lot of softball and had never paid much attention to what the pitcher was doing until I got up to bat. It didn't occur to me that what happened to the batter before me or even several batters before me might impact what the pitcher pitches to me.

In life, opportunities sometimes come along in unexpected ways. If we're not paying attention, we might miss them. We can learn from our mistakes, but we can also learn from our successes. And we can learn from the experiences of others.

Next, I learned that there are times to be patient and there are times to act.

We were always excited to hear the words that meant we could swing, but often it was just as important that the batters before us had walked because they didn't swing when they shouldn't have.

There are times in life when planning and analysis are needed. But there are also times to act, times to move forward and do what needs to be done.

Finally, I learned how everything fits together in softball and in life. That year, we won the regular season softball championship. We didn't have the best players, but we were the best team.

In life, we often get too focused on ourselves and our situations. To be successful, it takes a team. As we help others, we often help ourselves.

After that year, I was a better softball player and a better person.

Coach Llull, I never told you that, and now it seems like I might not get that chance. I've got a feeling you knew anyway.

Steve DeVane

Where there's a wheel, there's a way

Every once in a while it's good to sit back and take a good, long look at life. Here's a simple, easy way to think about where you are. It's called the wheel of life.

First, draw a circle. Make it plenty big enough to write in.

Now divide the circle into eight pieces. You do that by drawing a line straight up and down, then one side by side. That makes four pieces. Then draw two more lines diagonally each way to divide the four into eight.

Now write these in the eight sections:

— Career

— Family and friends

— Significant other/ romance

— Fun and recreation

— Health

— Money

— Personal growth

— Physical environment

Now, take several minutes and think about how your life is going in each area. After you've given it some thought, rate it on a scale of 1-10.

Then think of the center of the circle as zero and the outside of the circle as 10. Draw a line in each area where you rated.

Now take a look at the circle. That's your wheel of life.

Notice if it's uneven or pretty round.

See which areas you make you feel good and which areas need some work. Perhaps you need some coaching to help your wheel ride a little smoother.

Steve DeVane
This free mentoring system helped me in several areas of my life.

Learn the art of success

I am often amazed at how techniques I learned in coach training apply to the network marketing profession.

Coaches are taught to have no agenda. A coaching session is all about the person being coached. That outlook fits perfectly with network marketing.

The best way to help people is to first understand what they need. If we don't know what they need how can we know how to help them.

The best way to understand people is to get to know them. The way to get to know them is to relate to them with no agenda.

Think about it. We shouldn't want someone in our business if they don't really want to be in the business.

If they don't really want to be in business, they're never going to succeed. They'll spin their wheels and get nowhere.

Furthermore, if they don't want to be in business, we'll spend a good amount of our time convincing them rather than training them. It's a waste their time and our effort.

My friend and mentor, Tom "Big Al "Schreiter, has taught me the importance of having skills in our network marketing business.

Here are some coaching skills that will help you learn about people. It's based on the acrostic — LEARN.

Listen. When you're in a conversation, try to spend at least 80 percent of the time listening. That means you should not be talking more than one fifth of the time.

Encourage. Look for ways to support the person. Too often we're looking for something wrong, so we can pounce on the person with our "opportunity." Instead, encourage the person to find their own path.

Ask powerful questions. The answers will help you get to know the person better. Ask open-ended questions that will give the person an opportunity to share about their hopes, their dreams, their goals.

Respond. Make sure you understand what the person is telling you. Don't get ahead of them in the conversation by thinking about what you're going to say next. Tune into what they're saying, what they want, and what they need.

Negotiate action. In network marketing, we need to emphasize negotiation. Coaching sessions usually end with the person being coached deciding what they want to do and when they're going to do it. In our business, make sure the person is making the decision with no pressure.

These skills will help you in your network marketing business and in your life.

Steve DeVane
This free e-book taught me how to be successful in network marketing

Listen without an agenda

Have this ever happened to you: you're talking to someone, perhaps sharing a matter of deep concern, when you notice they have a far-off look in their eye. When you finish talking the person responds with an odd-sounding anecdote that doesn't make sense until you realize a slight connection with something you said very early in your remarks.

Or worse yet, have you ever been listening to someone when they say something that causes your mind to immediately think of an event in your life. Your brain starts racing, formulating your response, all the while nearly ignoring the rest of the other person's remarks.

Unfortunately, that happens in too many conversations. Sometimes the person being ignored immediately realizes it. While they're often too nice to speak out, they're hurt. The depth of the pain often corresponds to the strength of the bond they felt with the other person.

Even if the person doesn't immediately realize the slight, they leave the conversation with less than they deserve.

Overcoming the propensity to think about yourself during conversation takes practice, but it is a skill well worth the effort.

The key is to focus your attention on the other person. Realize that at that moment, what they're saying is most important.

One way to learn how to listen more attentively is to get in the habit of asking questions instead of offering advice or suggestions. You can't ask someone a question about what they just said unless you've listened to them.

Part of the training I've received as a certified coach with Valwood Christian Leadership Coaching is the importance of asking powerful questions. Powerful questions make the other person think. They are almost never yes or no questions.

These questions are usually best if their part of the context of the conversation, but some general examples are:

— What do you see as your purpose in life?

— What are your retirement plans?

— What do you see as your strongest talents?

— Where do you see yourself in five years?

— What options have you considered?

— What are the potential obstacles?

Perhaps the easiest way to learn how to listen to other people is to care about them. You must listen without an agenda. Set aside what you want and help them get what they want. Help them reach their dreams and you'll almost certainly be closer to yours.

Steve DeVane
Click here to learn more about my free MLM mentoring program.